Last Christmas I (Literally) Gave You My Heart

 *Opens Christmas Movie Recipe*

- Classic Christmas tunes (Preferably sung by cast members)

- Romance

- Quirky characters obsessed with the spirit of Christmas

- An initially cynical lead who is charmed by their festive surroundings

- Likability

- Overt (and sometimes obvious) life lessons

- Heart (elusive but necessary)

- Poverty (optional)

*Returns Recipe to Hallmark*

I have always had a soft spot for Christmas movies. If anything, they are an excuse to indulge in the comfortable and cheery tunes that mark the holiday season. Right around my birthday, I turn on the movies I’ve seen countless times – Holiday Inn, White Christmas, and It’s a Wonderful Life – the movies that created the formula that we have now become ultra-familiar with.

Last Christmas is a highly engineered attempt to capture the elements audiences expect from the genre and offer a mild twist. Even with talented (or at least prominent) individuals on board, I came into the movie with low expectations – these sorts of things are often imitations of classics and having high expectations is masochistic. Still, I left the theater having been let down. The movie doesn’t have the cheer to make up for its massive shortcomings.

The largest humbug is the story. Emma Thompson can write. Her screenplay of Sense and Sensibility is fantastic. Creating a formulaic yet pleasant enough story seems like a reasonable expectation. It never quite gets there. Emilia Clarke’s character is ailing in body and soul when we first meet her, and following a few chance encounters with a guardian angel-like Henry Golding – can someone please get this guy a more than one-note role? He has all the makings of a star – she’s having a holly jolly Christmas. The twist ending falls flat.

That, however, is not the worst part of the story. It is everything around them. The Christmas emporium run by Michelle Yeoh (this is a Crazy Rich Asians reunion) has the right quirk, but scenes depicting her as a giddy schoolgirl at heart come across empty and lack the humor they were going for. The last part is especially prescient, as there isn’t even enough humor in the story to bring a half-smile across your face, let alone laughter.

Without the humor, the little moments in the movie meant to elevate it beyond simple Christmas fare don’t have the punch they need. The film is very apparent in its lack of sympathy for Brexit yet the film’s politics seem shoehorned in, and it’s not just the nonexistent laughs. The story relies heavily on immigrant stereotypes. They are poor, isolated, and speak with an accent and sing songs from the old country, and they are meant to be pitied. Some things, even in a Christmas movie, cannot be oversimplified.

Because there are so many problems in the story and how the characters are conceived, passing judgement on the acting is difficult. Clarke soldiers on, trying to make the most of it, and trying to make it seem like her transformation is earned. Golding and Yeoh also do their best, while the rest are little more than window dressing.

I also want to take issue with the title. If the creatives behind the film weren’t so invested in an all too literal interpretation of the titular song’s opening line, then they should’ve named it Change of Heart. Alas, a missed opportunity. 

Crazy Rich Asians Isn't So Crazy After All

Rich guy and not-so-rich girl fall in love and encounter obstacles including but not limited to: unwelcoming family members, elitism, classist assumptions, and that douchebag everyone hates. Let's be honest, we've all seen some iteration of that story. Some may say they liked it better when it was called Pride and Prejudice or Cinderella. The point is: Crazy Rich Asians is nowhere near crazy where the storytelling is concerned. 

Don't get me wrong, romantic comedies work partially because of the paradigm and because of the familiar situations the characters get put into. They're like coming home after an 8-hour shift at the office and seeing your cat mark the shoe-rack for the umpteenth time. You've grown accustomed to it. Memorable romcoms, however, have distinct characters that you remember long after the movie has ended.

Crazy Rich Asian doesn't even have that. 

Take Nicholas Young (Henry Golding), for example. He's an intelligent dude. He was born into a rich, elitist family, but he's nothing like his family. Rather than a snob, Nick has become an all-around good egg, a nice dude who is head over heels in love with his girlfriend and wants the relationship to go to the next level. His defining qualities are his billion dollar smile and a heart of gold. 

Those traits don't sound overly unique. 

Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) has a little more substance to work with, but even she is bogged down by certain genre tropes. When it's all said and done, she's the hardworking girl with the gumption and the fight to prove to her boyfriend's family that she is more than good enough for their son. 

Both characters' traits point to a common theme in romantic comedies -- the leads are usually the least interesting people. The entertainment comes from the surroundings, the situation, and the colorful supporting cast. That's what happens here. 

Jon Chu sets up lavish sequence after lavish sequence. He takes us from the night market to an upscale hotel to McMansions to a private island and to that douchebag shooting a bazooka off a ship into the ocean. The pacing is quick. The movie doesn't get bogged down by explaining the details behind everything in the family dynamic. 

Michelle Yeoh, primarily known for her work in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and other martial arts films, puts in the strongest performance as Nick's traditionalist mother. She provides a necessary counterbalance to the laid-back ease and open-mindedness of other members of her family and has just enough nuance to keep the character from falling into the hard-line generic Chinese mother role. Gemma Chan, as Nick's cousin and his and Rachel's confidant, also adds poise to the screen.

For the off-beat and quirky stuff, Awkwafina and Ken Jeong and the cousin who is always concerned with "optimal angles" have you covered. Like anything in that brand of humor, it can be an acquired taste and is often hit-and-miss. 

It's pretty clear that Crazy Rich Asians isn't pushing any storytelling envelopes. It's slick, it's efficient and adequate entertainment. 

Asian leads and Asian faces, however, make the movie an outlier. Seldom does Hollywood give Westernized Asian actors a chance to be the romantic heroes. The project is a major step forward for Asian representation in Hollywood. That is this movie's primary value. Its success will open doors for more movies, and most certainly, better ones. 

If this leads to Hotel On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet (do yourself a favor and read the book) finally getting the green light, an Asian-led live-action version of Your Name, and adaptations of Native Speaker, Chinglish, and other purely original projects (maybe one of mine lol), then Crazy Rich Asians will have done its job. 

(P.S The book is 300% better than the movie.)